What really matters?

I have been waiting weeks to right my first blog. It has been weeks because I have allowed my need for perfectionism to consume me yet again. Tonight is different, tonight I don't care about how it looks, if the banner matches the background, if it is grammatically correct, what people will think, will it move people to change. Tonight I will set those things aside because tonight none of that matters.
Have you ever noticed how the things that "matter" change as you get older? When you were two it mattered that Bobby took your favorite toy. When you were 13 it mattered that your best friend started dating the boy you liked. When you were 20 it mattered to be married and have kids. I am 37 know and I thought I was finally figuring out what REALLY mattered. I found out tonight I have not even touched the surface.
I truly thought my heart was going to break tonight, and I am still not sure that it won't before I end this day. Tonight at church we had a service that was lead by some church members that just got back from Haiti. I knew it would be emotional, however had no idea that it would impact me to this degree. As each one of them spoke I knew the hand of God had been on every part of this trip.
They started to talk about a local orphanage were they were delivering food. As they spoke I felt like someone was lowering a 100 pound weight on my heart. It became heavier and heavier as they told of two orphans that were just brought in a few days prior to them arriving. One of them was found in a pile of trash, and the other tied to banana tree...SILENCE.... In my world time stood still as I tried to comprehend what they just said. It was like my brain was in search mode trying to find a rational explanation. When there was none found I knew at that moment everything I thought that mattered would changed forever.
Even though they did not have pictures of these specific kids there faces haunt me. I can't stop my tears as their faces fill my mind, and with every thought the weight gets heavier on my heart. Will their lives matter? They MATTER to me.