What I didn't do in Ecuador...

This is a blog that I started on the way home from Ecuador.

What I didn't do in Ecador...
It is 3:47 am and I am on the red eye coming back home from a week long trip to Ecuador. I have a new understanding of "red eye" flight, as I sit here unable to sleep even though I am mentally and physically exhausted. My mind is filled with all of the things that I want to capture in my data bank of memories about our visit. There was so much beauty from the people, culture, and the country.
As I try to think of how to capture my visit, I am taken back to something a very wise man told us when we arrived. He said "When people ask you what you did in Ecuador, don't tell them what you did - tell them what God did in you this week." That is why my entry is call "What I didn't do in Ecuador". God definitely did it all.. Here are just a few things that I didn't do...

Listen...... As I was packing, I was trying to pack as little as possible. (this is hard for me because I want to bring everything) I was in the middle of getting all of my toiletries when I came across a small compact mirror. I really struggled on wheather to take this small item for what seemed like 5 minutes. Why would this one small item give me such anx? As I rationalized in my head that I am not a person that cares about how I look most of the time, there was no need for me to carry this small compact. It was weird that I would struggle so much with this decision, so what did I do - I did not pack it.  
When we arrived at the Happiness Foundation we were told the casa that we would be staying in did not have a mirror, which at the time I did not think was a big deal. Then I realized quickly that things are much harder to do without a mirror. Why didn't I just pack the compact, it would not have added weight to my luggage?
Then it hit me... God was going a head of me trying to equip me with even the smallest of items, a mirror. Why did I not listen when I was packing or even realize this was something He was trying to tell me? In my quiet time I realized He was trying to teach me a bigger lesson than to just bring a mirror with you on a mission trip. 
It has always been easy for me to trust Him in my life for the BIG things, but I find myself making my own decisions on the smaller things in my life. Why did/do I feel like He doesn't have time to help me or be with me in the small things in my life? Why do I feel like a bother when I come to Him for small things? Is it because I think I shouldn't take the time away from others that need Him more than me? Or that He doesn't have time for me? 
I learned this week that no matter the circumstance BIG/SMALL He is right there with me. He is my Heavenly Father and wants to be involved in the simplest things in my life - even providing me a mirror. It overwhelms my brain to know that the creator of the universe cares and loves me enough to show me and guide me with even the smallest of things, a mirror.

Serve... I went to Ecuador with the purpose of serving those in need, and maybe even finding a cute little one to bring home. My intentions were good, but not what God intended for me. This experience was nothing like I had imagined. I think that sometimes when people go on a mission trip they go with the intentions of helping others and being able to walk away with such a sense of pride for how they served The Lord. What I didn't expect was to be served... Served by our host, served by our cooks (which we're AMAZING), served by the kids and their house moms/dads.. Served in a way that made me stand in awe.. Served in a way that was so different from what I intended to do through serving. They served us with no expectations of anything in return, with the truest of hearts, and with love that was emotionally and physically visible. They have nothing yet gave all they had. One of the first gifts I received from one of the kids was a  piece of candy. Candy, something we take for granted but yet they don't get very often and they wanted me to have it.. How can candy move you to tears - when u know it was given to you in the greatest of love. I pray that I can be more like that!

I did nothing on this trip...... my Heavenly Father did it all. 

He used this trip to bring me closer to Him and to see everyday what it looks like to die to self and become more like Him. Im so grateful that He sees past the person I am, a sinner, and loves me. That He sacrificed EVERYTHING for me. That He wants a personal relationship with ME. (and you if you allow Him)

It is truly overwhelming how His love is so intimate and individualized to each one of His children.

FOREVER CHANGED
Dawn