Filling my empty heart...

Labor Day weekend and NO work today! Usually that means I can sleep in, but today was a little different because when I woke up at 7am this morning I could not go back to sleep. That is always frustrating, but I knew there was no fighting it. So i got up and it still seemed a little dark for 7am but I proceeded to make a pot of coffee then start my quiet time. As i gathered my coffee and Bible I realized it was starting to rain, so I decided there would be no better place for my quiet time than on the back porch. It was perfect!

I love being outside with The Lord, there is just something about that environment that makes me feel even closer to Him. On the same hand when I am outside I can become very distracted from my reading and catch myself just gazing at His beauty. This morning was no different as I start reading Proverbs 1. I made it through the brief reading then went to my study Bible to dive a little deeper, then it happened - the distraction. As the rain started to fall a little harder and the wind started to blow a cool breeze, I found myself lost in the wonders of HIs creation. The more I leaned into the sound of the rain and wind my heart became heavier and heavier. It has been over a week since Kailey went to college and I had thought that things were better, but this morning was proving otherwise. As the rain feel it was like a reflection of how I felt and i began to cry. 

I began to pray and ask God why this had been so hard for me? This is where I want her to be, this is what I want her to be doing, I am excited to see what He has planned for her; yet my heart is breaking. I asked Him to put the broken pieces back together and wondered how it could ever be whole again. My heart felt so empty.

As a mother we always give our hearts away to our husbands, kids, family, friends, and everyone that we come in contact with and sometimes there seems like there is nothing left except emptiness. Sometimes we expect that emptiness to be filled with things or people, yet nothing ever seems to work. That is when He steps in, just like the rain fills the rivers and streams - He fills the emptiness inside of our heart. I feel like the rain was a way of Him showing me that He is filling my heart with new things. It will be filled with more of His word, it will be filled with more of His love, and it will be filled with more of His grace.

I know this is just a moment in time and I know in the journey of life this is a small piece of the puzzle. I am so thankful that I serve a God that walks with me even in the smallest matters of the heart. 

I am thankful for rain because it fills an empty heart.