I have always said my kids are 2 years and 4 days apart - well Tyler so graciously corrected me the other day and said it was 1 year and 361 days. Kailey was born on April 24, 1996 and Tyler was born on April 20, 1998. It actually has made birthday parties a breeze, knocking out two at one time.
"Birthday week", as it has come to me know as, starts out with the planning of birthday week in the beginning of April. What do want for your birthday, what do you want to do for your birthday, all the same things, yet doubled. That is typically the easiest part for me, I just throw out a ton of suggestions and they choose.
This year the kids wanted to have a good ole Cajun birthday. A shrimp boil! So I found a fantastic invitation on Etsy.com (if you don't know what this is you are missing out), and the plans began. 45 (yes I said 45) of our closest family and friends were invited. This is where the stress begins. I LOVE throwing parties! I am also a perfectionist - these two things sometimes do not work in tandem. The party would consist of a HUGE bonfire, batting boiled eggs (this is one of our Easter traditions - don't knock it until you try it, it is TONS of FUN), a game of egg war (ouch), and last but not least a few water balloons to get everyone wet.
We had a great night and everything went well, however with all of the madness I was not really concentrating on what the weekend was really about - EASTER. I actually found myself dreading going to church the next morning. It had been so busy that I was just exhausted.
Easter morning was actually Ty's birthday so he was excited he could drive. He drove a friend into town to have an early breakfast at the Centerton Diner. Me, Kailey, my mom, and dad meet Ty at church that morning for the early service. Even as I was pulling into the parking lot I was not looking forward to the service. I had heard the speaker several times and it was always a similar message. As I sat through church my thoughts were on going home to cook Easter dinner and getting my house back in order after the birthday party. Then as the invitation was being given and people were coming to the front of the church to give their life to Christ.... my heart sank. This weekend was not about me or my kids, it was about the greatest gift anyone could give us - the gift of eternity. How could I be so caught up in myself that I missed the greatest celebration! Satan has a grand scheme of keeping us focused on the wrong things. We let the world consume our time and energy, we believe Satan's lies, and we try to justify it all. Our kids need to be in every activity under the sun, they need to have a great birthday parties, etc. The thing of it is though is none of those things are bad in and of themselves. It is when it takes away from our time with God, our relationship with Christ, and takes our attitudes from bad to worse - that is what I failed to see. 19 people were saved that Easter morning! 19 people that if they would not heard that ole familiar speaker might not live eternity in heaven. WOW. God showed me (again) that when I am consumed with myself I CANNOT be consumed with Him.
I feel like God has used my quiet time this week to really redirect my focus off of me and onto Him. Showing me not to complain and humble myself (Philippians 2:3,14) and most importantly not being anxious for anything (Philippians 4:4-7). I am typically not a worrier, however I know He is preparing me. Preparing me for the negative/overwhelming sadness of my kids getting older, graduation, and college.
As I sit here wrapping up my thoughts Kailey will be 18 in about an hour. sniff sniff cry cry! Emotions are high! I just got done telling Kailey her birthday story. Every year on the night before their birthday I tell them their birthday story. I explain my excitement of finding out we were pregnant, the joy of feeling them move in side my tummy, the pain of labor :), and the awe of holding them in my arms the first time. Needless to say they humor me by letting me to continue this tradition. Telling the story brings back a flood of emotions that is hard to describe. After the story I always quote "I love you forever, I like you for always - as long as I am living my baby you'll be" (great book I always read to them). Then I end by singing an old Sandi Patty song "Masterpiece", it goes something like this...
"Before you had a name, or opened up your eyes, or anyone could recognize your face. You were being formed, so delicate in size. Secluded in God's safe and hidden place. With your little tiny hands, and your little tiny feet, and little eyes that shimmer like a pearl. He breathed in you a song, and to make it all complete, He brought the masterpiece into the world. You are a masterpiece, a new creation He has formed and your as soft and fresh as a snowy winter morn. I'm so glad that God has given you to me. Little lamb of God, you are a masterpiece."
The next few months will be emotionally challenging for me. I pray for strength, wisdom, and that I will keep Him at the focus of it all. I know that He holds my kids in His hands and that He has plans for them to prosper.
I am soooooo thankful that He choose ME to be their mother. It is the greatest gift I have ever been given.
I love you Kailey and Ty!
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